Stupident

I was delivering some important things today in my mini-van and I got bored listening to the country station, the rock station, the oldie station and the baseball game so I started listening to Dr. Laura. She had a good idea.She has invented a new word that means: Even though knowing that what you are about to do is against all reason, sanity and moral laws, you go ahead and do it, thus beginning a series of events that will affect yourself and probably others in a negative and distasteful way. This is called a “Stupident“.Okay, it’s not registering for you. Let me explain it another way. It’s your wife’s 40th birthday. You realize she is becoming very sensitive about her age. She has started a new workout program at the gym, she has dyed her hair, she has started wearing your teenage daughter’s clothes and she has started to act and talk like your teenage daughter.For her birthday you have it announced on the local radio, the local television and in lights on the marquis along the local drag, “Lordy, Lordy, (Insert her full name here) is 40!” As your wife slams the bedroom door in your face, realize you have done a stupident.You didn’t get it? Okay, how about this: Your boss explains the project had a deadline of yesterday. He can’t be there to finish it because he has to go play golf with his buddies. He tells you his career is on the line, and therefore yours is too. He then shows you what to do to finish the project, hands you the shipping label to apply to the finished project and walks out the door.When the phone rings you commit a stupident. You tell your boss’s boss, that your boss just left early for the day to go golfing. You furthermore tell your boss’s boss that you have no idea where he is at on the important project but that your boss must not have thought it was too important.And finally, you leave early so that you can pack before you begin your two week vacation, leaving the project neatly under a stack of “to do” papers that your boss won’t even look at until next Thursday.I know what you are thinking. Stupidents are going to be listed as reasons why things happened to relieve responsibility for our actions. People will tell there spouses, “Honey I can’t help it, I’m just stupident prone.” Descriptions of our employers at the water fountain will include a new phrase. “He’s just a stupident waiting to happen.” Corporations will create a new division just to tackle Stupident Prevention. Motivational speakers can add new chapters to their books and create whole new seminars on “How to make your ‘stupidents’ work for you.”I don’t know what we’ll do with politicians. “Stupidents are guaranteed under the constitution.”If the President’s mother was alive today, she might say, “Bill was a stupident baby.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *