#1 There are some things in life I could live without, but not my nose. Constantly I rub it, scratch it, blow it, wipe it, sniff it, and push my glasses up on it (even when I’m not wearing them). Besides, without my nose, what would I do with my hands?#2 Life doesn’t seem real to me unless I see it on TV. If I know something big is happening, I want to watch the news. I’ll believe my team is in the playoffs – if I see them lose on TV. If the weather is bad, my first instinct is to turn on the TV and watch the Weather Channel, to see what it’s like outside.#3 Life passes me by, whether I’m paying attention or not.#4 The secret to life lies in an aspirin bottle. Which is in my medicine cabinet. And it has a child proof cap. And I can’t get it off.#5 Why is it, that when I used to think when I grew up I’d have it made, no one ever told me that when you’re in charge, you can’t do what you want then either?#6 There is nothing romantic about the way couples kiss in the movies these days.You would think they are counting each other’s fillings with their tongues. A kiss should be tender and sweet not like an emergency life saving procedure.#7 The trouble is, I just can’t eat like I used to.#8 Life is like a dog’s tail. Its always moving but never getting anywhere.#9 Paul’s Top Ten List for Coping With Allergies (coming soon).#10 Each morning I get up, go to the mirror, look myself in the eye and say,“You get better looking each day.” It’s scary how I can lie to myself like that.