Bill and Herman’s Adventures

Many people work with other people. I am one of those. I work with these two guys named Bill and Herman. Bill and Herman both live in the same town and must drive about 30 miles to work in another town. Bill and Herman ride share. The following are some true accounts of Bill and Herman driving to work.One early morning, it was still dark in mid-Missouri, Bill and Herman were driving along an icy highway. Bill was driving, and Herman was keeping a watchful eye on the road. His other eye was closed because Herman was sleepy. Bill was sleepily sipping his coffee. (He swears his wife switched it with decaffeinated because he could not wake up)As they approached a bridge an icy spot in the road caused Bill’s little pickup to slide and swerve. Instantly Bill threw his coffee cup to his right so he could get both hands on the steering wheel. Instantly Herman had both eyes open as Bill’s decaffeinated, hot coffee soaked his pants. Bill fought with all his might, but the pickup spun round and round. Luckily, it stayed on the road.When Bill and Herman got to work, they tirelessly told us all, over and over of their adventure. What we didn’t know was, how did Bill’s pants get wet?Another early morning, Bill and Herman were once again driving to work. On this particular morning, Herman was driving and Bill was riding. Herman was telling Bill about a wonderful personal business decision he hoped Bill would make. Just as Herman was waiting for Bill to take the bait on an exciting personal business venture, a car pulled on the road directly in front of them.Herman reacted quickly, he told Bill he could think it over, and at the same time Herman drove his mini van into the ditch, around the offending vehicle, and back up onthe road. Bill declined to join Herman’s new business. When we at work, heard their   latest adventure, we wondered if Bill spilled his coffee again?Just last week, Bill and Herman were once again driving to work. Bill was driving his pickup, which had been parked outdoors in the late spring, Missouri weather. Bill and Herman were verbally sparring about who was the better driver. Unbeknownst to Bill and Herman, several wasps had made their home under the seat of Bill’s pickup. As they were cruising along the highway, one of the wasps, seeking to protect his new home, angrily flew up the right pant leg of Bill.Instantly Bill knew what was happening, but we can’t say the same for Herman, who watched incredulously as Bill, without saying a word, let go of the steering wheel (which Herman instantly, without thinking grabbed). Bill started slapping his leg, from his ankle and going higher towards his thigh. He then slammed on the brakes, skidded to a stop, hopped out of his pickup, and while still hopping and slapping, unbuckled his pants and dropped them to his knees.As the slightly bent, but not dead wasp finally flew away, Bill pulled up his pants and got back in the pickup. Herman, who had not seen the wasp, said, “I guess you proved it, you are the better driver.”When they told us about it at work, we wondered, what do they put in their coffee?

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