Neither-Handed

During a recent conversation with my daughter, I was once again accused of being the reason for all her problems. This time she inherited a defect from me that made her “look stupid in front of people.” The conversation went sort of like this.”Well, you know dad, how in school you find out if you are left-handed or right-handed? Well, you see, like I’m not really either handed. I’m kind of like, you know no-handed.I mean, like you know, when I think I could be right handed cos basically I am right handed, well I think I am, but then I can do some things better left handed, but not really but it’s not any worse, but not any better so I use my right hand but that doesn’t work either, so you see like, I’m like, you know no handed.””I see,” I said.”Cos, like, I thought, you know, if I’m not either handed or something, I must be like, footed or something, you know so I tried writing and doing stuff with my feet, but that was no better cos I can’t really do anything better with my feet, except I can walk on my feet better than walk on my hands, but that’s no big deal or something, cos like, you know everybody can, well anyway the ones I know, so anyway I’m like,you know neither handed and it’s all your fault, cos like, you know, you’re like my dad.”??”I see, ” I said.I was beginning to understand that she was laying the ground work for why she couldn’t do housework, hold down a job, do schoolwork, or basically just clean her room. It was indeed all my fault.??I see.??But maybe there’s hope, Maybe this is a real medical condition. Something like Bi-palmer Intolerance. Or maybe, its something protected by the constitution and we could get a grant from the government.??Maybe she has bi-palmer challenge, a condition that can’t be discriminated against. If we do get that grant, we could maybe pay someone to clean her room. That would be like, you know, cool, or something.

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